Funeral
Yesterday (Saturday), I attended a funeral here and I thought I would share the experience with all of you:
I have a friend that I met at the dolo hut just beside my house (a large hangar where people sit around and socialize and drink locally-brewed millet beer, called dolo). He’s older, probably somewhere in his 50s, but incredibly sprightly and energetic. I always run into him at the Post Office – at this point I’m assuming he works there, because aside from receiving mail, packages, or money, I can’t exactly classify spending the day at the Post as truly that exciting – and he greets me by jumping out of his seat, shouting “MON AMI!” in a coarse, boyish voice, and slapping his hand roughly into mine for a vigorous handshake. Obviously, I like the guy – he’s got a lot of spunk.
Last week when I made a trip to the Post, he was there, as usual, and informed me that both of his parents had died and they were holding the funeral this Saturday. In fact, at first I didn’t understand what he had said because he seemed so jovial about it. His house – which I had previously been invited to but had yet to visit – was supposedly just around the corner from mine, and later that week I gathered that the actual funeral mass was Saturday morning at 9 am, after which everyone would troop on over to the house for drinks, food, and generally an after-party. Deciding that this would not only be a great cultural opportunity but also a chance to show my support for my neighbors, I resolved to go.
Saturday morning I got cleaned up, put on a nice dress, and made my way to the Catholic Church where I was told the mass would be held. Cars and motos littered the lawn in front of the church, so I figured I was at the right place. Most people seemed to be lingering just outside the church and, seeing as it was the first time I would ever set foot inside, I decided to follow suit, lest I unintentionally burst in on some personal family viewing or other intimate ceremony. As the clock struck 9 am, people began crowding toward the church’s side doors, heads bowed solemnly and hands raised or clasped in reverence. Seeing as this was a Catholic Church, I assumed what they began speaking next to be Hail Mary’s in local language, but since I don’t know how to say those in English, I just stood quietly and waited with them. Getting nervous, I figured that since nobody here really speaks fluent English, if anyone stopped me from entering the church because they noticed I hadn’t said my Hail Mary’s I could just bow my head and recite whatever song lyrics or Arrested Development monologue struck me…luckily, it never came to that.
After the prayers we all entered the church and filed into pews. I wanted a good view of the ceremony so I found a seat in one of the first sections. As people began filling in the seats around me, I mentally remarked on the fact that an overwhelming amount of the churchgoers were male. In fact, every single one of my neighbors was a man. Suddenly, I flashed back to conversations I’d had with fellow trainees who had attended church in Saponé and their comments on how surprised they were to find that men and women sat on separate sides of the church. Ahh, yes. To confirm my suspicions, I sneaked a glance across the aisle and observed sections of pews overflowing with women. Right, I figured, reaching down to grab my purse so that I could casually make my way over the women’s section, as if I had planned all along to sit there but just decided to take a break midway through my 10 second trek to pause for a breather and to turn off my cellphone. However, just as I was rising from my seat, a very ancient looking man slid onto the other end of my pew, blocking my path. It would be a tight squeeze, and a cruelty to make the man take to his feet again after finally reaching his destination, so, groaning under my breath, I slid back into my original place. At least being awkward wasn’t a new experience for me.
The mass began and was given largely in Mooré, so I could only guess at what was being said most of the time. There were several portraits lined up in the front of the church, I’m assuming of the man and woman who died, but other than that I saw no sign of the deceased; no coffins, no urns, not even the family member I knew. We went through the motions of a normal mass, including taking the Sacrament and saying the Peace to each other, but when everyone exited after the hour and a half ceremony, I couldn’t find any indicators that it had actually been a funeral ceremony. I stood on the lawn outside the church looking for someone – anyone – that I knew but, finding no one, I dejectedly trooped back to my own house. I halfway wanted to follow the crowd of people heading from the church into the neighborhood, but the more convincing half of me strongly rejected the idea of finding myself crowding around two bodies (they had to be somewhere!) to mourn with a group of strangers who were all wondering why I was there. I can do awkward, but I try to draw the line at inappropriate, and I really wasn’t sure if it was acceptable for me to wander into a funeral ceremony alone solely for the cultural experience.
I passed several frustrating hours at my house, trying to contact people who might be at the ceremony but coming up empty-handed. Finally, on a last-ditch-effort phone call my counterpart picked up. Shortly thereafter, she swung by my house and invited me to join her ensemble of friends and family who were heading over to pay their condolences. We walked over and I realized how absolutely embarrassing, in retrospect, it would have been for me to say that I didn’t come by because I didn’t know where the house was. We literally left my house, walked about twenty yards (passing the dolo hut on the way), the road led between two houses and as soon as we emerged we could see a large field filled with people and modes of transportation. A few neighbors called me over to say hi as we walked, and then we greeted my friend from the Post, who was standing outside and talking to visitors. He was absolutely ecstatic that I had come! There are many occasions in Burkina where it is customary to present a gift, and this happened to be one of those circumstances, so I gave him a mille franc, which he thanked me for graciously. Mille franc is not much, but it’s not meant to be a gift of a lump sum or anything like that – it’s just the thought behind the donation that matters. We briefly rejoined the group in which we had arrived, who were busy greeting the elders; these members of the family and the community were sitting under a hangar on one side while visitors sat across from them and paid their respects, and those of us who could not fit under the hangar squatted or kneeled behind them.
Afterwards, we were invited by my friend to enter his family’s courtyard and view the tombs. There was a short corridor through which we entered that opened into an average sized yard bordered by the family’s houses. However, our eyes were immediately drawn to the center of yard, in which sat the reason for our visit: two enormous, beautiful tombs sat next to each other, made out of sparkling white porcelain tiles. They had obviously been cleaned and tended to with care, as I’ve never seen that color exist in this country (a result of all the dust, for starters). Both tombs had framed portraits of their inhabitants, and the father’s actually had a second picture on the other side of the tomb in which he glared into the camera with a cigarette butt hanging off his lip at such a brash angle he could have been the Burkinabé version of Bob Dylan or James Dean.
I was told to take a look around, so I reverently circled and admired the handiwork; the tombs were constructed by family members, and their intricacy led me to believe that these two people had been loved and respected. There’s nothing to break a good reverie, though, like a camera in your face, so when I rounded the last corner and that’s what I found, I was a bit surprised. If I had ever harbored aspirations of one day becoming a celebrity, my experience in Burkina has thus far firmly squashed those dreams. Two girls pounced on me as I finished my tour of the tombs and attempted to capture me on film as a funeral-goer, so I invited each to take a picture with me – and unfortunately they still insisted on the ever-so-awkward photo of the white person alone, the allure of which I will never understand.
After viewing the tombs, we continued into a neighboring courtyard where we were served chicken, meat skewers, tô, and drinks. As we ate, vultures hungrily prowled the yard and pecked just below our feet, gnawing on previously-ejected chicken bones, and neighborhood kids waited anxiously to receive our leftovers. We socialized for a bit before saying our farewells and heading home. All-in-all, it was a very joyous funeral with a beautiful homage to those who had passed. In Burkina, funerals for old people that have died are generally happy occasions, celebrating the full life that was lived by the person. If it had been a young person that had died, it would have been a much more mournful occasion; however, I like the idea of commemorating someone’s life and accomplishments. Here, not everyone is lucky enough to live to an old age and raise a family that will care for them – and they know it – so for those who achieve that goal, there is much less to lament than to rejoice.